Stress, it’s not all bad
Stress is a completely normal and useful part of life. Without stress, a muscle grows weak. With the right amount of stress, a muscle grows strong. But too much stress and a muscle can become injured, and then we need time for rest and recovery. Problems arise when there is too much stress. So if we experience no stress at all – there are no challenges in our life – we can become bored and even depressed.
When we face the right amount of stress - a challenge that stretches us and is manageable - that can bring an enormous amount of satisfaction, growth and learning. This keeps our mind healthy. When we face too much stress - a challenge that is overwhelming – that can wear us down. And just like when we overuse a muscle, if we don’t take time to rest and recover, we can experience ongoing pain, and the damage can become worse.
The amount of stress we experience is a result of two things – our external world (what’s happening around us) and our internal world (how we think and feel about what’s happening, as well as our physical wellbeing). We can’t always make choices about what challenges we face, but we can always consider how we think about what is happening to us and then work at changing that.
Let’s look at a resilience model that has been found to be very helpful in managing stress. It’s called the 3-Ps. It’s designed by one of the founders of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman. The three Ps stand for Personalisation, Permanence, and Pervasiveness. They are the ways we think that increase our stress levels.
Personalisation is when we believe we are the sole source of a problem rather than considering how our circumstances are contributing. For example, if you were more organised, perhaps you could get all your work done. And perhaps your workplace practices share in the responsibility. Talking with your colleagues and manager about how work is distributed may form part of the way forward.
Permanence is believing that a difficult situation will last forever. When we are in the middle of something that is very difficult or painful, it can feel like it will never end, which makes the whole situation feel worse. But change is constant – and the difficulty will pass. Reminding ourselves to look at how a situation is constantly changing and to see it in a longer-term context can help us to begin to see a way to turn it around.
Pervasiveness is believing that a difficult situation applies to all areas of our life, not just a particular circumstance. A common example is when you say to yourself, “I’m so stupid!” as a piece of DIY falls to pieces. The truth is that perhaps you’re not the world’s greatest handyperson, but you might be fantastic at comforting a friend in need or managing a work project.
Keeping an eye on these three ways of thinking can reduce the amount of stress in your life as well as increase your resilience. Come talk to us about the way you think and how you can change it – you might become less stressed. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.
Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting
